Hi, my name is Russel and I'm a Pot Fondler. There I said it and already I feel better about it. I'm the guy you've seen skulking behind the potted ferns in galleries and fairs just waiting for you to turn your back so I can get at your pots. I can't control it! In the presence of good pots something just comes over me! I've got to feel the balance of their weight, pet their bottoms, stroke their sensuous curves, nuzzle their graceful necks, their luscious lips!!!! Sorry, I'm getting carried a way just talking about it!
As if that weren't enough! I even MAKE POTS for OTHER PEOPLE TO FONDLE!! I build simple friendly forms, by hand with warm subtle hues of smoke firing, a combination just waiting to trap the latent pot fondler.
And I know you're out there! I've seen you stealing glances at other potter's handles, seeming to "accidentally" brush against the curving hip of a large urn, casually upsetting a pot to get a better look at the foot ring (foot ring fetishists!). But you needn't feel ashamed, it's natural, and you're not alone. Give in to your desire, you have nothing to lose but your pocket change!